Signs Your Teenager Might Be Struggling with Anxiety

Anxiety doesn't always look like worry

Most parents picture anxiety as a child who cries, clings, or openly says they're scared. But teenage anxiety is often far less obvious — and that's exactly why it gets missed for so long.

Teenagers are also less likely to name what they're feeling. They may not even recognise it as anxiety themselves. Instead, anxiety tends to show up as behaviour: avoidance, irritability, physical complaints, or a sudden loss of interest in things they used to love.

Signs to look for

These are the patterns worth paying attention to:

•       Increased irritability or emotional outbursts that seem out of proportion to the trigger

•       Avoiding school, social situations, or activities they previously enjoyed

•       Frequent physical complaints — headaches, stomach aches, fatigue — with no clear medical cause

•       Difficulty sleeping, either trouble falling asleep or waking frequently

•       Seeking reassurance repeatedly, or asking "what if" questions that circle without resolution

•       Procrastination or paralysis around tasks, especially schoolwork

•       Withdrawing from friends or family

•       Perfectionism that leads to not starting or finishing things

None of these signs alone means a teenager has an anxiety disorder. But a cluster of them — particularly if they represent a change from how your teenager normally presents — is worth taking seriously.

Why teenagers hide it

Adolescence is a time of intense identity development. Teenagers are acutely aware of how they're perceived by peers, and many have absorbed the message — from culture, from social media, from offhand comments — that anxiety is weakness.

They may also be genuinely trying to protect you. Some teenagers work hard to appear fine because they don't want to worry their parents, or because they're not sure their feelings are "serious enough" to mention.

If your gut is telling you something is off, trust that. You know your child.

How to open the conversation

Approaching a teenager about anxiety requires a gentle hand. A few things that tend to help:

•       Choose a side-by-side moment — in the car, on a walk — rather than a face-to-face sit-down, which can feel interrogative

•       Name what you've noticed without diagnosing: "I've noticed you seem a bit flat lately. I just wanted to check in."

•       Resist the urge to immediately fix or reassure — listen first

•       Make clear that whatever they're feeling is okay, and that you're not going anywhere

If you're seeing significant and persistent changes, it's worth speaking with your GP or a mental health professional. Early support makes an enormous difference.

The workbooks that can help

The Anxiety Workbook for Teens Ages 13–19 was written for exactly this moment — for teenagers who are struggling but don't know where to start, and for parents who want to support them without making things worse. It uses evidence-based strategies alongside exercises teenagers will actually engage with.

A. E. Nicholls is a paediatric occupational therapist and author.